OMG

OH MY GOD is what I just said out loud when I tried to put on a pair of my jeans.  These jeans fit pretty snuggly 6 months ago, (they were my going out jeans) but they fit! Today they didn’t fit over my lovely tush.  I love my butt, I really do. Yes I think it has gotten a little bigger this past month, well I know it has since my jeans don’t fit over it, but I also get a lot of compliments on it, and its become a signature part of my body that I show off some days, (my clothes must flaunt my butt). Accentuate your favorite part of your body!

Okay, one year ago, maybe even a week ago I would have cried, gotten in the worst mood, hated myself, constantly tell myself what a fattie I was and that I need to stop eating, but today I simply took the jeans off, put on leggings, and said “Ok Sam, clearly you have put on some weight, it’s time to slow down with food and watch how much you are eating”. I pretty much moved on, or not because now I’m blogging about it, but at least I’m loving myself right now, and appreciating my butt for being unique to me, and accepting it.

Point of this blog, is to find a new reaction to your jeans not fitting. Instead of doing ten squats to fit them over your butt, then sweating, and hating every part of yourself, take the jeans off with love, smile at your self that you are just like everyone else in the world (especially in January) and commit to finding something else to love about yourself for the day. Maybe it’s how beautiful your eyes are, how productive you are at work, your health, your family and friends, that you get to go to happy hour tonight, I know there is one thing to be happy, appreciative or grateful about. I encourage you not to let the weight you may have put on over the holidays ruin you, define you, and control you.

Yes, trust me I am not going to eat the amount I have been, (polishing off bags of corn chips has been my latest), but I am also going to let this weight be, and love myself through it with no fight. My weight will come off, but I’m happy now, so it’s not the focus of my life.  Well at least for the next 20 minutes, until I have to remind myself what I’m writing to you.

Don’t let the latest New Years diets make you crazy, don’t weigh yourself, count your calories, or punish yourself for having the greatest holiday season and cookies ever. Find a type of movement that brings you joy, for me this is yoga, it might be a ten minute walk for you.  Understand this is the flow of life, appreciate your weight during these cold months, and wear clothes that fit.  Remember those tight jeans, but put them aside for a month or two.

Today, I love my hair!

Oh Man

It has been awhile, actually so long that I thought I would never blog again.  I am living in Denver now, I moved out of New York City. I thought I would never miss it, but actually I do. I moved back to Colorado the beginning of September to attend the Institute of the Psychology of Eating.  The teacher at this training is Marc David. I spoke about him in my first blog, and couldn’t be luckier to be learning from him.  After seeing USA Today this past week, and seeing all the New Year’s diets, I get sick to my stomach but also become grateful that I am learning a new cutting edge approach to health, that actually makes sense and works. How about for just a little bit, weight loss is a non-issue for you.  Do not get on the scale everyday, throw out your scale actually, throw out your food log, or just put it away for awhile, and don’t worry about having a balanced diet and getting in all the vegetables, protein and whole grains you need for the day.  This probably sounds really scary, and maybe I am getting a little too carried away for my first blog back, but I am so passionate about it, and I am so saddened by what USA Today is advertising, and the most popular weight loss show Biggest Loser stands for.  Punishment, judgement, shame, guilt, force, rules, and heroic acts which seem impossible. I used to be all for the Biggest Loser when I was a personal trainer and beating myself up emotionally everyday, but it doesn’t work and it is really hurtful.  How can you find self love and happiness without having your weight be an issue at all? Because I promise you, once we can tap into our core and find out what truly makes us happy, the weight will either A)fall off or B) become a non-issue. Both sound pretty awesome to me.  How do you feel in the morning? Don’t let the number on the scale tell you how to feel.  What do you want to eat for dinner? Don’t let some diet tell you.

Welcome Back.

Also, I am now finally starting my Eating Psychology Counseling Practice, so if you, or someone you know could benefit from my work please email me at daniels.samantha@gmail.com

Comparing

Do you ever judge yourself based on another person’s successes, body, job, relationship, drive, personality, attitude, etc?  It is our own little self critic that always wants to chime in and tell us what we should be doing better.  Instead of praising our own path and journey we are constantly sizing ourselves up with those around us.  I think this is very natural and probably always happens, but I think it can be very unhealthy for our hearts.  Why don’t we just worry about ourselves? Our own kids, our own eating plan, job, athletic ability?  If we are always pushing to do more and better to be the best or be like him or her, we are in a constant battle with ourselves.  What purpose does comparing serve you? Yeah I guess sometimes it definitely pushes us to try harder, work harder, or finally reach our goal, and this is healthy. But if our self talk is all negative, like “she is doing it, so can you, you lazy fat ass,” that is bad, bad, self talk that you never deserve.  Use other people in a productive way, not in a self-hating way.

Whatever you wish to achieve or be today, work towards it in your own time and your own way, and trust yourself and know that for you this works best and most smoothly.  If we try to do it someone else’s way it may not work, or you will have to start all over again.  We are all individual and need to respect our process, and love yourself for wherever you are today because if you don’t, who will?

Diet, Binge, Punish, Repeat

Does this cycle sound familiar to anyone? Diet, Binge, Punish, Repeat. Your diet, binge, and form of punishment may be different than mine, but I can say with confidence many people go through this cycle weekly, daily, monthly, or yearly.  We set ourselves up with all these rules, no white flour, no sugar, no carbs past 4, low fat, sugar once a week, fried food only when out with friends, or french fries three times a year, and never pancakes at brunch.  I have placed each one of these rules on myself at some point, and guess what? I break all of them.  I’m breaking my own rules, sounds ridiculous doesn’t it?  Not only am I setting myself up with unrealistic lifelong rules, but I set myself up to break them, then I’m mad at myself, so I just set more rules up, break those, workout harder, and once again tell myself I’m never eating sugar again.  This writing sounds insane, because I have learned that this behavior is insane too!

Importantly, don’t let someone else tell you what to eat, or influence your choices.  This involves pleasing your mom who has always been hard on you about your weight, or simply when your friend says “oh my gosh you have got to try this, it’s amazing.” Eat for yourself, and love every second of it, no matter what it is.  Fortunately I have not had a mom who is hard on me about my body, but I know many people do.  When you are eating something “off limits” whether is it because you know your mom wouldn’t approve, or you have made it off limits, try to love yourself unconditionally. Notice how the food makes you feel. Does your stomach hurt? Did you gain 5 lbs? Are you all of a sudden fat and ugly, and unlovable? Or is this all your mind talking??

Additionally, how do you bounce back from a binge, or “off limits” food? Do you resolve it by telling yourself you will work out really hard tomorrow and not have cake for at least a week?  But since you have eaten this tonight, you might as well continue eating like shit right?  because tomorrow is a new day where the punishment begins.  How amazing is your workout going to be, when the only purpose for running 6 miles is to compensate for what you ate yesterday.  To me, it is going to be miserable.  But you sweat, you ran hard, and now you are back on track, smiling, and following your rules…until you go out to eat and have a few drinks with your friends and eat something you are not “supposed” to. The cycle happens again.

To me this is no way to live, trust me I’m guilty of it and it sucks.  This week instead of making rules for yourself, just eat what you want, sitting down, really slowly, thinking loving words about yourself, and stop before you are full and need to unbutton your pants.  

Of course this is really hard, and takes time, probably not ever perfection. All I ask it be a little more loving to yourself and think about your diets.  Has a diet ever worked for you? Have you ever been on a diet when there wasn’t a binge, a rule break, and/or some form of punishment involved?  If you have please tell me!! Tell me either way. I am open to listening apart from this blog, this is what I love and I hope my posts speak to someone. Email me, daniels.samantha@gmail.com

Healthy Living

I would love to tell you lots of unknown new information about nutrition after hearing Andrew Weil speak, but I can’t.  Once again one of the leaders in health and wellness says “eat less, eat less refined food”. For so long I wanted to be a nutritionist because they are trusted and know so much about what and what not to eat.  But I am thrilled I decided to take the health counseling route, because happiness, health, and anti-aging do not only come from a perfect diet. (does that even exist?)  Yes making sure you consume healthy foods and are taking some supplements is necessary, more importantly is social connectedness, physical activity, love, laughter, spirituality, and awareness.  In health counseling we find what is eating you inside, what is missing, what are the true, deeper feelings that are showing up in your relationship with food.  

Geneen Roth also spoke this past weekend, she is so honest and healing.  One of the many things she discussed is how most people feel if they have a problem they have to get rid of it.  She encourages you to “feel it, don’t fix it.”  You can’t ever truly get rid of or remove a problem. “If anyone has ever said they have their shit together, they are standing in it.” We are never going to be perfect, so instead embrace your challenge, welcome it, use it to go deeper and find what is hurting you inside.  There is always a deeper reason than what might be on the surface when we reach for more junk food, or more alcohol, whatever it is that allows you not to feel.

Chunky Oatmeal Walnut Chocolate Chip Cookies

I went to Andrea Beaman’s cooking class and had the most delicious cookie. I want to share it with you. I hope one day, I can share my own healthy dessert recipes with you. (now you can hold me to it)

By the way Andrea was on Top Chef, and if you watched last season she was the one that beat stefan when some previous chefs came back to compete.

1 1/2 cups rolled oats

1/2 cup whole grain pastry flour

1/4 tsp. sea salt

1/3 cup granulated cane sugar

1/2 cup walnuts, chopped (optional)

1/4 cup dark chocolate chips

1 egg beaten

2 tbsp. butter, softened

1 tbsp. coconut oil

1 tsp. vanilla flavoring (I like alcohol free)

Preheat oven to 350. Mix dry ingredients and wet ingredients separately, then combine the two together. Lightly oil cookie sheet.  Using a large tablespoon, drop dough onto cookie sheet and slightly press down to 1/2 inch high and 3-4 inches wide. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until edges turn brown.  Let cool for 10 minutes. Makes 12-14 cookies.

Calories

I wonder if knowing the amount of calories in the food we are eating is healthy or beneficial.  Sometimes I have that little calorie counter in my head adding up my total for the day or meal, it is kind of annoying. I don’t want my thoughts to be consumed with calories at all. In my opinion, it would be healthier to just eat enough until we are satisfied, leaving the table with some room in the stomach and energy for our next activity.  This way you are not overeating, and you are satisfying your needs without worrying about calories during and after the meal, you know you gave your body what it needed at the time.  

I found it really interesting last week what happened to my thoughts when I found out the amount of calories in the “green juice” I was supposed to drink three times a day, in addition to two meals and two shots of wheat grass. Since the green juice was all vegetables and it was part of the cleanse I drank it with pleasure and had feelings of my body cleaning out and purifying.  I didn’t think I could ever gain weight, this drink was only doing miraculous things for me. Then on my second to last day at Hippocrates I found out the amount of calories in each drink and all of the sudden I felt bloated, full, and trying to calculate the amount of calories I had consumed for the day.  YUCK. Who needs that extra nonsense.  Now, after seeing how my body reacted after knowing the amount of calories versus how I felt not knowing or caring, I guarantee I digested and used the green juice differently. For instance, if I think something is going to make me gain weight, well it probably will.  Don’t underestimate the power of your thoughts!

Hippocrates

Hello Everyone! I just got back from Hippocrates Health Institute  where my dad and I ate only raw living foods and wheat grass, relaxed till we thought we were dead, met wonderful people, attended lectures, learned about healthy lifestyle, the power of our thoughts, and received state of the art therapy treatments. Overall, it was a wonderful experience for me! Once we were able to get through the detox phase (headache, moody, nausea) we felt light, healthy, clear minded, and…brainwashed.  Eat only raw foods, no meat, no dairy, just say no to sugar and alcohol.  Ok great, we can do this when we are at Hippocrates or want to be socially isolating, or god forbid if we are sick.  Now this brings up a great point. Why wait until we are sick to get healthy?  

As I have mentioned before, being healthy cannot be isolated to what we eat. Of course what we put into our bodies matters a tremendous amount, but so do our thoughts about food, ourselves, our situation, and our overall life.  If we are having toxic thoughts while eating a plate of sprouts and vegetables (yes this is what we were eating) I personally don’t think we are healing ourselves at all. At Hippocrates we only eat alkalizing foods, raw vegetables, and don’t eat any acidic foods, sugar, processed, meat, and some grains. But a toxic thought can be more acidic than any food we put into our bodies.  Think about it…

So now that I am back in New York City where there is the most amazing food and cocktails, but also a raw food restaurant one block away, I have to find balance.  You may think that coming back from a detox would leave you feeling empowered over food, and it does, but now I am in a harder place to once again find what works for me. This is just another opportunity to slow down and listen to my gut, my intuition, and trust myself.

Relaxing

How do you relax?  My acupuncturist asked me this the other day and at first I thought he would be impressed with my answer, “I do yoga, I get lots of rest, I take deep breaths, I have a lot of downtime”.  He asked me again, how do you relax?  I guess he didn’t like my answer.  My yoga is not restorative, it is power, I take six deeps breaths then I get bored and carry on with my day.  So I guess I don’t really relax.  Even when I have the whole day to do exactly what I want, I don’t choose to rest, I feel like I have to fill my time up with productive activities.  I do think it is very important to stay busy, because when I have too much time  bad things happen.  But after this conversation with my acupuncturist I realized that I need to take the time to truly relax, even if that means going to buy one of those meditative cds and listening to it for 30 minutes a day without distraction.  Your body needs downtime, it needs to decompress, if for nothing else than to clear your mind and wind down your day or start your day with clarity, or even in the middle of your day to really refocus and calm your nervous system down. 

I encourage you all to take some time out of your day to truly relax.  If you have a deadline or chore that has to get done and you seem to be procrastinating and resisting it, maybe try taking a moment to really relax your mind (with reading, restorative yoga, soothing cds, taking a bath) then try to accomplish your task.

Forbidden Foods

What is that food that you cannot, will not buy because you will eat the whole package?   For me, it is warm banana bread, chocolate chip cookies, ok any pastry!  But what I have learned is that as soon as I tell myself I can’t have a food or forbid it, well it is the only thing I want.  So this technique doesn’t work for me.  My friend asked me the other day, how do I avoid polishing off a jar of peanut butter?  I could say don’t buy it, that way the temptation is gone. But is it really?  Yeah, it isn’t looking at you when you open your refrigerator (because you are buying natural right?) but what happens when you finally allow yourself to eat peanut butter after being so scared of it?  Do you have a reasonable amount? Or an excessive amount?  We make up the rule that we can’t have a food, and in my opinion set ourselves up to eat more than necessary.  

If every food was allowed (in reasonable amounts, because you can have it whenever you want),  it becomes less desirable, you can relax when you are eating it because it is “allowed” and you don’t need to keep eating for fear that this will be the last time.  Because really who wants to eat a whole box of cheeze-its, they don’t even taste good after 20, your stomach starts hurting, and you feel ill.  I guarantee sooner than later you wont want the crap, who does? it tastes miserable.  So instead of never buying your secret binge food, buy it and know that you can have it whenever you want, not a thing to be scared of and see how it feels to have the power over the food, the freedom to have in your house whatever food you want, to be able to go to friends houses and not be overwhelmed by all the snacks.  

Im not making any promises, but I think as long as we are aware of eating and know that the tenth oreo is not going to make the boredom, loneliness, or exhaustion go away, we can put the food down and focus on something else even if it is just breathing. 

(Remember if you have a condition, an allergy, whatever, don’t pay attention to me!)